delicate arch

having slept under the stars i awoke cheery and also pleasantly warm.  no more howling SD winds, no "surprise" blizzards, no real threat of rainstorms.  just a nice night of rest.  i crawled out of my sleeping bag because this is the only way i've ever learned to exit one.  if anyone has more options please let me know.  once up and moving i looked to see that it was 8am.  perfect.  i don't know that i've ever woken up at 8am on my own and was as excited to get out of bed and greet the immediate necessities of life.  walking to the latrine was a joy.  my head was on a constant bob and swivel staring at all the wonders around me.  i popped the hood on my truck to hook up my converter and charge the phone, borrowed some hot water from my neighbors, made some coffee, and had a cigarette while just looking around smiling and thinking about what to do with the day.  Arches of course was on the list but there were a few amenities that i needed from town first:  gas for the stove, breakfast, and a new camelback.  after all this and a nice even paced start to the morning i arrived at Arches around 1pm.  i purchased myself an annual park pass (good for two people!) that gives me access to all national parks, forests, monuments, ect.  i've also read somewhere that, much like the willy wonka story, 1 in every 100,000 passes is actually made of gold and the holder of the golden pass gets a one time unrestricted entrance to the pentagon where they can choose ANY 3 buttons to push.  the only catch is that they are not given information as to what the buttons do and what the pressed buttons eventually have done.

upon entering the park i stopped by the visitor center.  mostly because i just wanted to draw out and savor these first moments.  i went inside and moved through the displays with only casual attention, hoping something would catch my eye.  AH! an informative movie theater.  here i can see some of the locations to help me choose my first hike and maybe i'll learn something!  "...throughout the park.  erosion can take place over thousands of years forming these wondrous sculptures.  one type of erosion is water erosion.  water erosion..."  ok fuck this, i guess i'm not going to learn anything new.  also, why the hell am i in a movie theater featuring a video about a park that i'm in?  this is for tourists.  this is not for people like me.

back in my truck and climbing the road that leads to the top of the mesa i smoked and blasted bluegrass music very loudly.  there is only one type of music to listen to while driving through Arches and that is banjo music.  anyone who says different is a communist.

atop the mesa i resisted the urges to stop and see the first sights i came across.  my plan was to go to the middle area of the park and start from there.  the hike i picked out was called "delicate arch" and it was in the category of "difficult".  having spent the winter months on a rather strict diet of 5 pizzas a week, i was apprehensive about doing any hike that was labeled "difficult" but i also figured, well hell that's why i'm here isn't it?

being a seasoned outdoorsman, i pulled into the trailhead and took stock of things: medkit, 2L water, clif bar, knife, whistle, extra layer, sunglasses.  i was nearly ready to go.  just one final step: put on shorts and sunscreen.  this brought me no small amount of joy.  the actual NEED for those two items was something i've been without for far too long.  once properly provisioned i ventured forth to pit my body against nature in a test of the spirit.

about 100ft into the trail i thought, "huh this is pretty well established.  more of a walkway than a trail really."  500ft into it, "huh sure are a lot of kids here."  1000ft "oh shit.  this trail isn't going to splinter off and give a viewpoint to all of these tourists.  all of us are on the same goddam trail."  and so we were.  the sheer amount of elderly, obese, and pre-pubescent made me feel ridiculous for my packlist of essentials.  of course this what the trail is like.  why did i not anticipate this?  i'm an idiot.  for a brief time i was proud of my boyscout-like preparedness when a couple informed me they were happy to see someone with such clairvoyance because there was an elderly gentleman a little ways up the trail who had decided to do the hike without any water.  ok josh, action time.  recall your training.  think through possible scenarios.  you haven't seen any helicopter yet and no stretchers have gone in which means this man-in-danger is still out there, possibly in the last throes of sanity before heat stroke sets in.

i came across my potential patient about 5 minutes later.  the poor bastard was wearing light-weight hiking pants, a white shirt, a baseball cap with some emblem of a sort, and beat up shoes.  he was also very cheery, tan, and in much better shape than i.  we said hello to each other and smiled the smile of comradery in being the only two outdoorsmen in this sea of tourists.

that's not to say the trail was just a casual walk.  there were some serious inclines over slick-rock that left me huffing and puffing and swearing i was gonna quit smoking just as i promise myself at the top of any summit.  but the description of the trail forewarned to bring 2L water per person and allow up to 3 hours for completion of the trail.  i made it to the end in 36 minutes.  assuming that i went downhill at a comparable pace that means an hour of hiking while taking lots of pictures.  i was vastly over-prepared for this particular journey.

once i did reach the "delicate arch" it was pretty incredible.  there was one inconvenience that i will detail in a separate post but even that was inconsequential.  i had not realized it at the time, because i chose the trail mostly at random, that this was The Arch.  there are many here but as far as i know this is the most photographed and propagated.  it's the one that ended up on utah's license plate.  it WAS really spectacular.